Breastfeeding is equal to "adult entertainment." What?!

I think we'll be seeing this one quite a bit in blogger-land.  Apparently, the city of Forest Park, Georgia believes that nursing a toddler over the age of 2 ranks right up there with adult entertainment.  Apparently, the city of Forest Park, Georgia believes that they do not have to abide by Georgia's state law that protects a mother's right to breastfeed her children.  Even more upsetting, the city manager of Forest Park thinks that this is a "proactive step in controlling nudity!"  He goes even beyond that and has laughed at people that have expressed their concern.

This is what I have to say to Forest Park, Georgia:

First, breastfeeding a 2 year old is normal.  That's right it's normal!  Breastfeeding a 3 year old is normal.  Breastfeeding 4 year old is normal!  That's right breastfeeding to those ages is normal!  It is biologically and anthropologically appropriate for children to breastfeed all the way up to 7, which is the upper limit of normal!  It's simple science, friends.  Further, we're mammals.  As mammals, we're designed to nurse our young until they lose their milk/baby teeth.  Knowing this, it certainly makes sense why when left to their own devices, most children will wean themselves somewhere between 3-4 years of age.  The WHO recommends that children should be nursed for a minimum of 2 years.  Here's what the American Academy of Family Physicians thinks on the subject:

"As recommended by the WHO, breastfeeding should ideally continue beyond infancy, but this is not the cultural norm in the United States and requires ongoing support and encouragement.⁶⁹ It has been estimated that a natural weaning age for humans is between two and seven years.⁷⁰ Family physicians should be knowledgeable regarding the ongoing benefits to the child of extended breastfeeding, including continued immune protection,⁷¹ better social adjustment,⁷² and having a sustainable food source in times of emergency. The longer women breastfeed, the greater the decrease in their risk of breast cancer.⁷³ Mothers who have immigrated from cultures in which breastfeeding beyond infancy is routine should be encouraged to continue this tradition. There is no evidence that extended breastfeeding is harmful to mother or child. Breastfeeding during a subsequent pregnancy is not unusual. If the pregnancy is normal and the mother is healthy, breastfeeding during pregnancy is the woman's personal decision. If the child is younger than two years, the child is at increased risk of illness if weaned. Breastfeeding the nursing child after delivery of the next child (tandem nursing) may help provide a smooth transition psychologically for the older child.^19"

Okay, we now know that it's normal and recommended.  Let's discuss the nudity aspect.  Have you looked at your Sunday circulars recently?  Nearly every single one that comes from your various department stores has pictures of women in their underwear and bras.  Did Forest Park ban those to "control nudity?"  Does Forest Park have a Victoria's Secret?  If so, are they going to close it?  What about a city-wide dress code?  If they're so concerned about the possible nudity that may happen when a 3 year old breastfeeds, I want to know what else they are doing to control this laughable issue.

And just because I think breastfeeding babies is beautiful, I want to finish this up with these beautiful pictures that were taken by Eloise Smith:

And finally, my favorite, which some of you have seen everywhere:

Yes, we are fine, but they deserve better!

I've been seeing these riduclous posts floating around different social websites and outlets, and I've finally had enough.  I must comment on these before I explode!  Here are some examples of what I'm referring:

"If you grew up on home cooked meals, rode a bike with no helmet, your parents house was not "child-proof" , you got a whippin' when you misbehaved, had 3 TV channels you got up to change or went outside to turn the antenna, school started with the Pledge of Allegiance, stores were closed on Sunday, you drank out of a water hose and still turned out OK, re-post this and show that you survived."

"We were all formula fed and were fine." 

"We didn't eat organic foods or drink organic milk, and we're fine."

"I never rode in a carseat, and I'm fine."

"I rode in the back of a truck, and I'm fine."

"I ate tons of sugar, drank koolaid, and high-fructose corn syrup, and I'm completely fine."

"My boys were circumcised, and they are fine."

I could go on, but I think you get the point.  These posts disgust me.  They imply that as a generation, we are coddling and sheltering our children too much.  As if worrying about these things is somehow inappropriate.

Want to know what I really think though?

I really and truly think that the people that are going around saying such things are right.  As a generation, we did do all of those things, and they're right.  We are all fine. 

Let's disect what "fine" means though, and let's start with car safety.  I remember riding in the back of my mom's station wagon.  I remember a time when I didn't have to wear a seatbelt, or when car safety was optional.  Until recently, I have never know anyone that has been killed or seriously injured in a car accident, and yes, all of us who can say that we remember riding in the back of a pick-up can say that we're fine, obviously.  The real truth isn't that we're "fine," as these quirky posts are claiming.  We're damn lucky, period. 

My children will never ride in the back of a station wagon or pick-up.  They will never ride without a seatbelt.  They will never ride forward-facing in a vehicle until 3-4 years of age or older, even though Toby screams and cries every time he rides in the car.  Infact, my 5 year old begs to be turned rear-facing, and if you ask her why she wants to ride that way, Aidan will frankly tell you that rear-facing is safer.  Their carseats (all 3 ride in a Sunshine Kids Radian XTSL) are always properly tightened, every. single. time.  By enforcing these rules, I'm not coddling my children.  I'm not being ridiculously over-protective.  I'm not being silly.  By enforcing these rules, I'm doing my job as a parent.  Car accidents are the #1 killer of children in this country, and in my very honest opinion, I would be a lesser parent if I ignored this fact and put my children at risk while they were riding in the car.

Yep, I said it.  By ignoring very simple car safety rules, some people are not doing their jobs as parents, no matter what the situation is.  Feel free to call me judgemental.  I do not care.  "Fine" is not okay for my children in this case.  "Fine" is not worth the risk to my babies' lives.

Now, let's talk about food.  I was never breastfed.  I was never really taught about good nutrition.  My mom was and is a good cook, and when she cooked, it always tasted good.  I was never really taught about balance, though.  We ate all kinds of sugar and HFCS, without hesitation.  My mom was a single mom, and she robbed Peter just to put food on our table.  Let's face it.  In this country, the bottom dollar items are for the most part, the least healthy items.

Again, I can honestly say that I am "fine," but again, I want to talk about what fine means.  By never being breastfed, I started my life off at a higher risk of diabetes, certain cancers, infections, allergies, asthma, GI problems, and obesity.  By never breastfeeding a baby, my mom put herself at a higher risk for certain cancers and heart problmes, just to name a few.  My mom and I both have pretty bad GERD.  Further to this, I know many of you are not aware that my daughter has suffered from severe GI problems, many of which were probably made worse with the amount of formula that was put into her body. She will be off and on medication for the rest of her life.  Does any of this sound "fine" to you? 

(An aside, I do not blame my mom for anything.  She did the best that she could with information that she was given, and she did a wonderful job, especially as a single parent.)

Let's move on from breastfeeding, and talk about regular food.  Those sayings are right, again.  We ate all of those things and are fine.  We didn't have organics, and we are fine.  The clean food movement didn't really take off in this country until recently, and some many, it's still not that big of a deal.  Let's talk about clean food for a bit though.  Have you seen a commerical dairy?  Have you seen a commercial feed lot?  What about smelled a commerical chicken house?  Go watch Food Inc.  You'll never want to eat "unclean" food again.

What about sugar or HFCS?  Did you know that to produce high-fructose corn syrup, that the corn starch is basically boiled in sulphuric acid?  Does that sound healthy to you?  Does that sound like something you want to eat, that you want your children to eat? 

How about this simple fact:  a good portion of our immune systems reside in our digestive tracts.  By not eating whole, minimally processed foods, we are putting ourselves at a higher risk of infections!  Think of how much illness we could reduce if we just ate better!  Again, we all are "fine," despite eating some of the things have, but is "fine" all that we should strive for?

Finally, I want to talk about a really rough one, especially considering I'm married to a Jewish man, circumcision.  Yes, many, many boys in this country are circumcised and are "fine," including my 3 year old.  Did you know that baby boys DIE from complications of circumcisions?  They die.  It is a cosmetic surgery where we remove a functioning part of a baby boy, and we put them at risk of death by doing it.  As a country, we protect baby girls from this horrible procedure.  What makes baby boys different?  Is risk of death really "fine?"  Is risk of other problems from a botched or tight circumcision really "fine?"

The reality is that as a generation, we are all "fine," despite the things we ate or were allowed to do as a child, but as a generation, we know better now.  We know how to better protect our children and keep them healthy.  "Fine" should never be ok for our children.  Because we know better, we should do better, and quite frankly, our children deserve better!

Just How Attached I Am

I'm sure that one or two of you may have heard me complain about the fact that I cannot leave Toby, my 5 month old, at home, and while on the rare occasion, I may complain about this fact, the truth is that I truly do not mind.  Yes, Toby goes with me everywhere.  We're a package.  That's just the way it is.  If you don't want a baby to come to whatever event you're planning, then don't invite me because 99.9% of the time, I will not leave him at home.

There are a few reasons for this.  First, Toby doesn't take a bottle or any artificial nipple of any kind, and he's fed on demand.  The most important reasons that Toby stays with me 99.9% of the time is that I believe that a baby needs to be with his momma early and often in order to establish and maintain an adequate milk supply and bond, and I truly believe that this need for attachment is as intense, basic, and dire as the baby's need for food.

Now, "early and often" can mean so many things to different people.  It has specific meanings to me, though, and those meanings have evolved as I have evolved as a parent.  I believe that this attachment should not only start at birth, but it should continue through toddlerhood.

When I had Aidan, I didn't realize that this need for attachment also manifested itself inside mommas, as well, and I was more than shocked when she was born and I wanted nothing more than to put that baby to my breast and feed her.  It was such a visceral, animal feeling that it was really difficult to turn off, but I really did not know that as her momma, I didn't need permission to hold, feed, and bond with my baby.  As a result, she did not nurse for the first time until she was about an hour old.

I know that for some mommas what I'm about to propose is not possible because of how they birth, whether by necessity or choice, but it should be possible for the majority of mommas.  Those first few hours of a baby's life should be spent in the arms of his momma, skin to skin, smelling each other, looking at each other, resting together, loving each other, and baby's first feeding should occur within an hour of his birth.  This is vital for a successful breastfeeding relationship, as it helps to jump start the milk factory, telling momma's body that baby is needing milk.  That first feeding releases that first rush of "love hormones" in mom, helping her to bond with her baby.

This attachment should continue into the baby's infancy.  Now, I realize that we can't all be stay-at-home-moms, and when Ian was a baby, I held a full-time job for the first 9 months of his life.  Ideally, though, baby is with his momma as much as possible through his first year of life.  Again, this can be vital to a successful breastfeeding relationship, allowing him full access to the breast to help mom's body to continue producing an adequate supply, but it can be just as vital to a baby's bond with his momma.  This doesn't mean that the working mom won't be able to bond with her baby or produce enough milk.  It just means that the working mom has to work harder to do those things.

(Further, as an aside, I will not pretend for one second that I understand or sympathize with a mom that appears to have a vital need to be away from her baby.  I certainly won't pretend that I understand why that need would come before her baby's need to be with her.  Guess what.  It's okay for me to feel this way.)

Working when Ian was a baby was heartbreaking to me.  I had been at home during Aidan's entire infancy, and I really felt bad that Ian missed out on that time he could have been spending with me.  I busted my butt to make sure that I had enough milk for him.  I would go on my breaks and nurse him, spending the rest of my breaks sitting in a dirty office, turned closet, pumping for him.  Instead of lovingly looking at him while he nursed, I looked at a picture, hoping it would trigger multiple letdowns.  Ideal for bonding and attachment?  No way, but we made it work.  He's very attached to his mommy now.  I think I can contribute part of that to the fact that he's still nursing, still cosleeping, and basically, he gets momma snuggles anytime he wants.

We take this notion of early and often attachment even further though, as a family.  Most of our outings are family outings, centered around the kids.  While Aidan has spent more time away from us, with her grandparents, than Ian has, neither of them spent a night apart from us until they were nearly 2.  I just don't have the desire to be apart from them for extended periods of time, and anytime they have been away from me for more than a few hours, I end up spending the majority of my time thinking about them, missing them, generally wanting to reattach with them.

By allowing my children to stay attached to me into their childhood, I'm not producing children that will be unsure of themselves or kids that will be brats.  Instead, through that connection, I'm ensuring that my children know that there will never be a time that I will not consider their needs.  There will never be a time that I will tell them to wait when they need a hug or to snuggle.  Their needs for me and to be with me will not be ignored or minimized.  By fostering that attachment, I've given them the tools to be kind to others, parent their own children, as well as the confidence to explore their world independently of me, knowing that I'll be there with open arms, should they need a safe place to hide.

Oh yes, my friends, I am certainly an attached parent.

Is This Thing On?

Hey you!  Yes, you!  Are you listening?  Because I have a voice, in case you weren't aware, a very loud one, and I have things to say.  Actually, I would say that I have a lot to say.  Let's face it.  I have an opinion on just about everything, and for some reason, I feel the need to share it. 

While we're on the topic of my opinions, I should just let you know upfront that there are somethings that I will absolutely not apologize for.  I will not apologize that I have tendency to drop the F-bomb, even around my children, and yes, my 2 year old has to be told that there are some words that are "mommy words."  I will not apologize for talking about my opinion about things that I think matter.  These may or may not include politics, breastfeeding, attachment parenting, clean eating, and any and all things crunchy.  My point is that there is sure to be some opinion of mine that will offend someone.  I know it will happen.  I don't mean to be offensive, but I don't feel that I should apologize for sharing my thoughts.

Why the name "Crunch + Love?"  This has a two-fold, very simple answer. 

First, I crunch when I walk, meaning that I like using green, eco-friendly products.  I feel that protecting the environment and sustainability are important.  I do things like use cloth diapers and cloth feminine products because they are good for the environment.  You could call me a tree hugger or a hippie, and I promise I will not be offended.  Hell, I've probably even called myself one of those things in the past.

Second, and most important, I love my family and my children more than anything.  This is after all about my thoughts on things, and well, I think about my children, my loves, more than I think about anything else.  So, if you guessed that I'll be discussing my children quite a bit, then you guessed right.  I know what you're thinking.  "Oh great.  Another mommy blog..."  Yes.  Yes, this is another mommy blog, but if you didn't like reading a good mommy blog, then you wouldn't be here, now would you? 

Maybe I should share a little bit about myself now.  My name's Amanda, and as of recently, I am in my late twenties.  I have 3 amazing children, as well as a stellar husband.  I'd like to consider myself a semi-momtrepreneur, pedaling hand-knit items, sometimes falling into the occasional pyramid/avon-like scheme.  I'm always looking for ways that I can help provide for my family, IE provide for my shopping habit.  I like to knit and crochet.  I cannot keep my house clean enough.  I consider myself a lactavist.  I love the Constitution, and I am more liberal than I care to admit.  As a result, I find myself struggling to find my place in any mainstream religion, even though I would consider myself to be a religious person.  I enjoy a good book, like Wuthering Heights, but I also enjoy not-so-great books, like Twilight.

I don't really look to entertain.  I figure that I'll never have the time or energy to write a book.  A blog seemed natural.  Plus, it's good advertisement for my store.  I hope you enjoy!